2am

Ok. Althought I'm almost always signed into msn when I'm on the computer, I've never fancied it as an effective communication tool.
Here are some reasons as to why:

Mc`Lyn: i haven't seen a movie in agess
ѕчlvz: download
Mc`Lyn: yeah
ѕчlvz:no, as in why dont you download some
Mc`Lyn: yeah i know
Mc`Lyn: that's why i said yeah
Sylvz: OH

Mc`Lyn: What you doing?
'A': At my cousins babysitting
'A': What up?
Mc`Lyn: lots of things
Mc`Lyn: having fun ?
'A': how are u having fun?
Mc`Lyn: not really, quite the opposite
'A': huh? so you having fun or not?
Mc`Lyn: I asked you if you were having fun babysitting
'A': OH
Mc`Lyn: -_-


(talking about reading and writing viet)
david: can you read and write?
Mc`Lyn: i can read better than write but haven't dont both in a while so i'm prolly rusty
david: u mean the food in the restaurants?
Mc`Lyn (after 5 minutes of thinking): i can eat food..i dont think i can read them though..o.0

CnG798: day off tomorroe
CnG798: which ill valuee
CnG798: to sleep in
Mc`Lyn: haha
Mc`Lyn: sleep now
CnG798: ok
CnG798: nitees
CnG798: byee
Mc`Lyn: byee

minutes later...

Mc`Lyn: i thought you were going to bed
CnG798: i thought u were...
Mc`Lyn: i told YOU to go to bed..
CnG798: u said bed time...
Mc`Lyn: LOL
Mc`Lyn: alright then...big misunderstanding -_-

an hour later...

CnG798: ahahhahaha
CnG798: anyways
CnG798: bedtiimmee
Mc`Lyn: for real this time?
CnG798: for real -_-

Things I have learn't this semester:

1. Absolutely nothing.
2. I will not get offered honours. This is not a big deal. (This is a big deal)
3. I suck at time management.
4. I should not pick up calls by private numbers. Some sucker is calling me right now.
   
5. I should bank my pay if I want to save.
6. I need to study better. (faster and more efficiently minus msn and youtube. I don't get hooked onto facebook)
7. My vocabulary is very limited. (Scramble challenges me)
   
8. That sucker is calling again and I'm still not picking up.
   
9. I can lick my nipples.
10. Number 10 was a joke.
11. Sleep is important.
    

"The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death. What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy retirement. You drink alcohol, you party, and you get ready for High School. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last 9 months floating... then you finish off as an orgasm! Amen." - George Costanza, Seinfeld.

Notice that I don't receive apologetic messages of appreciation from my ex boyfriends until months and years after breaking up. Is it just me, or is that a tad delayed?

I'm not doubting the sincerity of your expressions, but wouldn't these words have been more valid say, during the last few minutes when we're exchanging our last goodbyes? More influential in the month of the breakup when I was trying to get over you? More moving within the 3 months after breakup when I would've felt something?

Is it because you've just suddenly had a bloody epiphany one day and decided to thank/apologise to all the ex girlfriends you've had in your life? Or did that little voice inside you named Conscience dictate that whole heart-felt message? Well, 2 or 3 lines of a message.

Haha don't get me wrong. Although a bit weird, but thanks. It was nice. Atleast its better delayed than not ever being executed at all. But you know, asking me about the weather would have been more relevant. =S

To be frank,
No one's going to buy your ticket to melbourne because they love you so much. People won't get together and bid you farewell over dim sum because you're going on holidays for a week and they'll miss you. Surprise parties are only thrown for "special people". No, your friend is not going to call you up after 3 months of not talking and offer to make amends. Things just don't work that way. Shot gun? Haha, no one's going to save you a seat in their car or offer your a ride from a to b. Drunk and k.o'd? Sick and coughing your guts out? Then find a place to die quietly. Because in most cases, generosity is not naturally embedded in people to spend a few weeks pay on a few days with you. They ain't gonna notice if you're absent from the country for a week or 2. or 3. Age is just a number. And since we're going all out here, let's be honest. No one gives a shit about the day you were born and it's either a first come first serve process or preconceived mutual obligation between people for shotgunned seats. The rest? hah, find your own way or walk there. "Bro-ship" and "sisterhoods" are shortlived and rarely lived up to. People don't care because they care, they care because it's rude not to pretend to. Atleast during the first few months anyway, when "friendship" is played out closest to the way it's supposed to be. People are lazy, and forgetful so caring is eventually forgotten. So make yourself one of the main players if you wanna be regonised. If you're kinda hanging out on the sidelines then yes, you will fall behind and be marginalised.

So you see, friendship is merely a construct of what people would like it to be but are too lazy driven by self interest to carry it out. The laws of give and take are almost never balanced so please don't base your thesis on a myth. The affinity of humans to each other is actually false advertising. People strive to be accepted and remembered. they waste time, money, effort just so others might remember to sms them on their birthday. Facebook is just a means to remind people about others. Sarah's birthday is tomorrow, oh better message her then.

Don't lie to yourself. you won't be missed when you're gone.

Vogue Forums
Ok, I'm reading some of the threads in here and thinking, "Where the fuck do girls get the money to splurge like this?"
YSL Patent Pumps for $725. They were hot, so ok...if you can afford it. But a Fendi pencil case for $150? Are you fucking kidding me?
Burberry Knight heels? Jimmy Choos, Manolo Blanhiks, Miu Miu? I haven't heard of half of the other brands mentioned but God damn..what a wonderful world they're living in if buying a $500 pair of shoes sounds as casual as they make it to be. And I understand if it's some rich investment banker lady rocking these shoes, but many of the girls on here are in university or highshool. Damn rich people.
So to all those who have said that I am rich in the past - what, does it look like I shit out cash? Or my parents, for that matter?

Alright, I'm sorry. I'm just mad because I'm broke as a joke and haven't been shopping since January and haven't had a job till now. I'm going shopping tomorrow though! With a limited supply of cash, ofcourse :(. I want a trust fund for Christmas!! boo

I thought I should talk about my first day at work. Yep.. I rocked up to uni in work attire - a white button up blouse and black pants and got a whole heap of "you're dressed up today". Reminds me of the time when i wore baggy black khaki-material kinda pants and people went hysterical because they thought I was going for a job interview. Well, not hysterical but i received a lot of remarks.

I now work at a pharmacy in Bedfore. How I got the job? My family friend is the new manager there. Work was ok. The till makes me feel like an unco-ordinated retard and the customers are nice. old, but nice. Other than getting bullied by the cash register and EFTPOS machine, overall it was ok. I could hack it, it was hackable. I was disappointed by the available eateries surrounding the place though. The selection was very bland - we're next to City Farmers, a servo, a dog grooming salon, a bank, a gym, a lunchbar, a sushi place (which happened to be closed at 1pm wth?) and a kebab shop. So looks like i need to start bringing in my own lunch.

Ummmm...I dunno what the pay rate is yet, and my set hours for the time being are Mondays 3-7 and Saturdays 9-6. This Saturday I'm working with a newly registered pharmacist who's just graduated. Was told she doesn't do much and likes to keep to herself. And that she's lazy. fantastic. Hope all goes well.

To: that person,
You need to stop bitching about people. And if you can't, try and contain your gossip to the right people who won'.t go on to spread it. 'Cause it's all getting back to me and it's quite annoying.

Thank you.

22/04/09
Things I'm doing:
1. Blogging
2. Listening to Thirsty Merc
3. Chatting on MSN
4. Looking around the room
5. Drinking Redbull
6. Eating grapes
7. Reading the latest posts on passive-aggressive

Things I should be doing:
1. Studying for my mid-semester exam on Friday
2. Drinking more Redbull to wake up
3. Not be doing all the other stuff

Things I want:
1. Socks, my feet are cold
2. A couch
3. A TV
4. A job
5. $$$ hence, the job
6. Lollies
7. a massage

This guy can use his fingers. WATCH!!

fuck you, economic crisis!

What's with people telling me not to judge them this weekend?
I'm hell open-minded, man!

I do not care if you hooked in with him again.
I do not care if you did the McNasty with him behind a bush.
I don't care if you made out with a girl last night.
And frankly, I don't care if you did whatever you did 2 weeks ago. If you're ok with it, so am I. capiche? good.

now, how about you continue telling me the finer details... ;)

Dear Friend,
You got really fucked up yesterday and I was pretty worried. I never thought you'd be one to fall into the status quo, but I guess I falsely stretched your strength of abstinence. Please don't misunderstand me, I have absolutely no qualms against people who need drugs to party it up. And I'm not about to declare war on the next person who rages at me for being anti-drugs. It's not my style coz I'm all about freedom of expression, man!

You looked pretty out of it when I finally found you, kinda leaning and clinging onto the guy for dear life. Your eyes were rolled back and forth, in and out and I was kinda counting down the secs that it would take for your knees to give way. I guess I was kinda expecting you to just, well, topple over or something. Like a slinky. I didn't understand exactly what you were saying to me, but you were pretty fucking paranoid. No, I am not mad at you. No, I do not hate you. No, I am not judging you. And no, I do not think you are fat.

But yes, I was a lil' upset. I was upset that you had taken drugs and had not paced it out. But sweety, that was not the whole reason, if even a quarter of it. You see, there are many reasons to why saltwater wells in my eyes. I wanted to help you, but I didn't know how. I don't know how to help people under the influence. That's the reason why I turned around and left. I didn't want to see you like that.

Actually, I did suspect that it was not your first time because you were pretty magged at futuremusic too. I know as a fact that there are things that you are reluctant to tell me about. I also know that you're afraid to tell me because you think I would look at you differently after I realise. I've been overseeing this whole thing brew and I can tell you one thing, that chick you're hanging with is a fucking knob. I would have felt more relieved if she wasn't there with you because we both know that when you both get fucked she does so more.

I do not look at you differently. Although disappointed, I am just glad you are ok. Incase you're wondering how I am able to amazingly refrain from taking these small tablets of joy while everyone else around me pays a couple hours of wages for them, I'm just fucking sick of seeing people go through this shit time after time and it just puts me off. I am usually surrounded by people who are under the unfluence. I am accustomed to having to hand out lollipops, gum, lip balm and water. After hanging out with them long enough, you tend to pick up a few things. It's all hugs and kisses in the beginning when everyone's happy and chatty, but after the upswing there must be a downswing right? That's when I gotta deal with the head bopping lifeless corpses, or the emotional "leave me alones". The aggro ones threaten to kick my head in if I ask them if they're ok one more time and the slightly denser ones make absolutely no sense. Pills really bring out the weirdest sides of people. I am sorry I can't sympathise with you if you O.D. I don't want to be told to fuck off again.

The sight is almost unbearable to me. So to see you like that pains me. Does it hurt? Or does it feel like you're walking on water? Because it certainly doesn't look like fun. Put it bluntly, this is the stage where people look like a group of diseased slugs. Eyes rolling, lip licking, mouths chewing, drooling, even. Lying on top of each other like a litter of blind piglets (i would say pigs but piglets are cuter) passing around and sharing the same saliva filled bottle...And this is the part where I disappear off with someone who's alive enough to dance with me - or someone who has their timing of doses down.

I guess I don't really know what to say to you because I don't ping. And I guess I can't talk because I have never experienced it. And for all I know you pingers are probably shaking your heads and telling me I don't know what I'm missing out on. Yeah well...whatever. Let me live in my innocent ignorance. I do my thing, you do yours.

I hope you are feeling better now. Just be careful next time yeah?

Love you xx

Find your own pose!

this is if i had a man to get tangled up with in bed every night..hmmm..

I know I still need to blog about my trip to sydney and all the events that have happened since my last post, but being caught up with uni and a social life I just haven't had the time or mentality to write about anything. But soon soon, I promise I shall tell all ! I need to release some stress from my pea brain anyway =P
For now I would like to share a story. Let's be thankful for what we have shall we?

A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which said: "I am blind, please help." There were only a few coins in the hat.

A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.

Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy.

That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were. The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, "Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?"

The man said, "I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way."

What he had written was: "Today is a beautiful day and I cannot see it."

Do you think the first sign and the second sign were saying the same thing?

Of course both signs told people the boy was blind. But the first sign simply said the boy was blind. The second sign told people they were so lucky that they were not blind.

Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?

Moral of the Story:
Be thankful for what you have. Be creative. Be innovative. Think differently and positively.

Invite others towards good with wisdom. Live life with no excuse and love with no regrets.

When life gives you a 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have 1000 reasons to smile. Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear. Keep the faith and drop the fear.

Great men say, "Life has to be an incessant process of repair and reconstruction, of discarding evil and developing goodness! In the journey of life, if you want to travel without fear, you must have the ticket of a good conscience."

The most beautiful thing is to see a person smiling!
And even more beautiful, is knowing that you are the reason behind it!
--Author Unknown

Tired of being stepped on...

I found this while browsing through other blogs and thought I'd share it.

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.

Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up,
he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods
where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and
color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans
played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of
the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the
man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing
by. Although the other man couldn't hear the band - he could see it. In
his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with
descriptive words. Days and weeks passed.

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths
only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away. As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his
first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed.

It faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse what could have
compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window. The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.

She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."

Epilogue: There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.

Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.

Happiness can be created and shared even amidst an air of sorrow and sadness. You may be going through a hard time but that doesn't mean you have to walk around with a frown the whole day and bring others down. Yeah, life may suck but don't make it suck for somebody else. We may only be human, but we have the great ability to affect emotionally, the person next to us. A simple smile may light up a day for that poor bloke who missed his train. This brings me to think of all the people out there who are so engrossed in their own life and situations. Everything's me me me, I I I.

C'mon.
Live a lil'. Feeling sad? smile. Feeling angry? Pull a funny face. Feeling neglected and abandoned? Step back and hold the door open for that stranger. There is too much bitterness in this society.

After all, we are all stuck in this life whether we like it or not.
Let's make the world a happier place to live in.

=)

a few hours to my flight and im a bit worried. there were a series of severe weather warnings issued for sydney with thunderstorms and gushing winds up to 90km/ph. there's bound to be a delay =/

i dont know why, but this time round, i'm not the tiniest bit excited, nor am i anticipating the 2 week long trip. a few weeks ago i was pretty happy, but during the past week no so much. an unsettling feeling is planted inside of me, and i can't find any reason why it would be there. maybe it's homesickness..hmm i dunno. but i guess i'll find out.

i had to go to the post office today with the determination to finalise my passport application once and for all. the whole thing was a fricking dilemma. the appointment was set for 11am so i left work at 10:30, thinking id be there in 15 minutes which should give me a bit of time to fill in the blanks in the application form. upon arriving i was barracaded at the entrance by a long line of people waiting in the passport application/renewal line. 'that's ok' i thought as i struggled to make my way through the human fort to a bench. 'i'm good' i thought, 'yeahhhh..this is good, i'll get it done today without a problem'. i even smiled to myself. life was good, yeah =). i randomly turned to the last page - the guarantors page - and started scanning.
'surname, yep.. given names..yep, electoral details..check..'
then..

'shit'.

i cursed under my breath at 6 blank boxes next to "date of birth" staring back at me. the old chap filling in the postal code of his envelope frowned so i enviously gazed at the numbers in his boxes -_-.

oh yeah, i had switched phones with my mum because she was complaining she couldn't see the buttons. this one is a sony ericsson, small and black therefore pretty hard to spot amongst the other junk floating around. i rummaged through my bag to fetch my it only to find that it wasn't there.

shit. shit. shit.

the time was 10:47, i still had 13 minutes till deadline and figured it was enough time to make it to and back to work if i sped. luckilly for me, the car infront of me got caught speeding on grand prom (hahahaha) while i switched lanes and gunned it to the lights. on the way back i called faiza's landline and spoke to her mother. i must've been panicking because the poor woman didn't understand what i was talking about and thought i was telemarketer, attempting to hang up on me. after the harmless misunderstanding was resolved she told me faiza's birthday (9th august)and continued to engaged in a long conversation with me about uni, faiza and the holidays - up until i parked my car at the galleria. i quickly farewelled, secretly thanking her for not accusing me of forgetting her daughter's birthday and being a bad friend.

the line at the post office was much shorter now and there was nothing stopping me from entering. while waiting i flipped through the form and filled in my mother's citizenship details. chyeah, i spent an good hour this morning fishing around for my parent's citizenship certificates which caused me to be late for work. this time it was a different lady, not as cheerful and nice as the one i had yesterday. she lazilly scanned my form with a bored expression, like she didn't know all the trouble i went through to be standing right infront of her to check it. everything went by smoothly as i watched her mark off the boxes, indicating that the sections were completed fully and correctly. everything was just dandy until we came to the gurantor's page.

the signature wasn't the same as the one on the back of my photo. 'what do you mean it's not the same??' i asked her and she showed me. the problem was this:



i know it's a crappy picture but hey, i did it on paint and i probably got her signature wrong too. big deal, so con artistry and forgery are definately not my forte but whatever. so you see, the signature in black is the one on my application form, the red signature is the one behind my photo. and the problem? the black one is signed with the first and last name on two lines, the red one is signed all in one line.

i felt like the wind was knocked out of me. i had to take another photo in my work-drenched state and i probably looked even more like a dropkick than the previous photos. 'look' she said, 'get her to sign the new photo exactly like she signed on the form then come back tomorrow.' i gave her a deathly stare. then she added: 'don't worry about making an appointment, just come straight to me.' atleast she's considerate.

so yes, another trip to the postie again tomorrow. all this trouble i go through for it. it should be grateful - it better take me to lots of countries one day.



hmmm..i rant a lot don't i? rhetoric, don't answer. i hope you don't think i'm an angry person because i'm not. i like sunflowers for god's sake. umm..what else..oh! i received my (rather expected) offer for uwa today. so i guess that's bye bye to murdoch and murdoch people, and murdoch refectory, and murdoch lecture theatres, and south street and murdoch drive. and hello to mounts bay road, and city food, and ancient buildings, and highschool friends.

that is all for now, my bodypump class awaits. byee!

today was the fourth time i came to the post office in regards to applying for an adult passport. the first was to grab the form and take the photos, the second was to make an appointment, the third (yesterday) was declined because my photo didn't match up to the specs (a bit of my hair was chopped off -_-). i had taken them in one of them passport photo booths so you'd think they were accepted. reaking of pies and sausages, sweat and oil, i had to pose for another photo. first shot was off, did a second one - i looked daggy in both. i was also missing a document to prove my parent's citizenship at the time of my birth. they want me to find a passport/driver's licence issued nearly 20 years ago?

you've got to be kidding me. that's what i said to the nice lady at the post office today. we had a little rant and rave about how stupid and time-wasting the process was. the making of the appointment, the fishing out of documents issued decades before, the getting-the-photo right, the guarantors. and all this has to be done by 2pm since they don't accept passport applications after 2.30 pm. the post office lady commented on how it sometimes takes people 5 or 6 goes before the passport is finally sent to wherever it's supposed to go after which there is a 2 week downtown period for a card to be slipped into your letterbox then yet another trip to the postie to collect the piece of shit.

i learnt today that babies 6 months of age also had to take photos to accord to those fucking specs. they expect eyes opened, facing straight at the camera, no smiling, no teeth. WTF? they're BABIES - they sleep, they drool, laugh, cry, do funny things with their mouths - how are you supposed to keep a 6 month old baby still?

it was a long, hot, tiring, tedious, frustrating, long day. i let out my frustration infront of a little girl at work today (yes, i was cursing and grumbling to myself) and i feel absolutely horrible now. making a mental note to give her a free donut when she comes back. if she comes back, shit, she's probably not going to come back. ever.

see? this is what you did to me stupid passport application process. whoever invented it should go jump off a bridge. now.

well HAPPY NEW YEARS PPL for all those who read. im not gonna go on about new years resolution crap because i know i won't meet them. so it's better to not have any and avoid the guilt when i don't. haha

i know, i know i'm a week late but excuuuuse me, i'm sick :(
fever, headache, sore throat, blocked nose - the whole lot.
fricking hell, i was sick during summerdayze too which greatly diminished my enjoyment of the day.

so yes, summerdayze was awesome. everyone was killin' the vicks and when i asked for a sniff they would look at me weirdly, grab me by the arm, lean in, and whisper: how much did u take?
then it was my turn to look at them weirdly, raise a 'brow and ask: whaddayamean? i took a noon, afternoon, and a night tablet.
then their eyes would bulge like this o.0: phwooarr you took 3??
and thennnn i show them my stash in the wallet and it isn't only then that they go OHHHH...
codral night and day flu tablets.
i even call ecstasy pills tablets.
i'm such a noob when it comes to drugs.
-_- i was the only one who genuinely needed the sniffers anyway.

um..what else. im a bit lazy. and hungry. so i cbf saying much. this should do it. i should call this my lazy and hungry post.

no. my lazy, hungry and sick post.

nightie night <3