2am

Dear Friend,
You got really fucked up yesterday and I was pretty worried. I never thought you'd be one to fall into the status quo, but I guess I falsely stretched your strength of abstinence. Please don't misunderstand me, I have absolutely no qualms against people who need drugs to party it up. And I'm not about to declare war on the next person who rages at me for being anti-drugs. It's not my style coz I'm all about freedom of expression, man!

You looked pretty out of it when I finally found you, kinda leaning and clinging onto the guy for dear life. Your eyes were rolled back and forth, in and out and I was kinda counting down the secs that it would take for your knees to give way. I guess I was kinda expecting you to just, well, topple over or something. Like a slinky. I didn't understand exactly what you were saying to me, but you were pretty fucking paranoid. No, I am not mad at you. No, I do not hate you. No, I am not judging you. And no, I do not think you are fat.

But yes, I was a lil' upset. I was upset that you had taken drugs and had not paced it out. But sweety, that was not the whole reason, if even a quarter of it. You see, there are many reasons to why saltwater wells in my eyes. I wanted to help you, but I didn't know how. I don't know how to help people under the influence. That's the reason why I turned around and left. I didn't want to see you like that.

Actually, I did suspect that it was not your first time because you were pretty magged at futuremusic too. I know as a fact that there are things that you are reluctant to tell me about. I also know that you're afraid to tell me because you think I would look at you differently after I realise. I've been overseeing this whole thing brew and I can tell you one thing, that chick you're hanging with is a fucking knob. I would have felt more relieved if she wasn't there with you because we both know that when you both get fucked she does so more.

I do not look at you differently. Although disappointed, I am just glad you are ok. Incase you're wondering how I am able to amazingly refrain from taking these small tablets of joy while everyone else around me pays a couple hours of wages for them, I'm just fucking sick of seeing people go through this shit time after time and it just puts me off. I am usually surrounded by people who are under the unfluence. I am accustomed to having to hand out lollipops, gum, lip balm and water. After hanging out with them long enough, you tend to pick up a few things. It's all hugs and kisses in the beginning when everyone's happy and chatty, but after the upswing there must be a downswing right? That's when I gotta deal with the head bopping lifeless corpses, or the emotional "leave me alones". The aggro ones threaten to kick my head in if I ask them if they're ok one more time and the slightly denser ones make absolutely no sense. Pills really bring out the weirdest sides of people. I am sorry I can't sympathise with you if you O.D. I don't want to be told to fuck off again.

The sight is almost unbearable to me. So to see you like that pains me. Does it hurt? Or does it feel like you're walking on water? Because it certainly doesn't look like fun. Put it bluntly, this is the stage where people look like a group of diseased slugs. Eyes rolling, lip licking, mouths chewing, drooling, even. Lying on top of each other like a litter of blind piglets (i would say pigs but piglets are cuter) passing around and sharing the same saliva filled bottle...And this is the part where I disappear off with someone who's alive enough to dance with me - or someone who has their timing of doses down.

I guess I don't really know what to say to you because I don't ping. And I guess I can't talk because I have never experienced it. And for all I know you pingers are probably shaking your heads and telling me I don't know what I'm missing out on. Yeah well...whatever. Let me live in my innocent ignorance. I do my thing, you do yours.

I hope you are feeling better now. Just be careful next time yeah?

Love you xx