2am

not exactly 2am but thought i should drop a line to "keep this blog alive".
yesterday was a good day. beaching with the girls was fun and relaxing. me and her are talking again so all is good. and another thing - he left to overseas. i guess it's a good thing since i am no longer waiting around wondering if he's gonna call or message or arguing with my mind whether or not to msg/call him. now that he's gone for a whole month without any access to net or phone i wouldn't be able to contact him even if i wanted to. i guess that's easier to live with.

i finally finished "xmas-ing" the living room. Putting up the xmas tree, decorations, cleaning all helped me relax as well as having acid jazz playing in the background. i am just so bored of people who see xmas as "just another holiday" that's consumer driven, meaningless and overrated. whatever. i could be the most pessimistic, cynical and glum person in the world right now and i'd still make an effort to do something for xmas, even if that just means lighting a few candles and putting up a tree. im not a devout christian or a religious fanatic. i simply like xmas. why? coz people make the effort to come home for xmas. it is the one time of the year where everyone can just get over themselves and their shit and just be happy - or go out of their way to make another person happy. it is the one time in the year when people make exceptions. exceptions. it seriously got to the point where i was like if i didn't have any family and friends at all i'd goddamn celebrate the occasion on my own if i had to. why? coz i strive to...just be happy.

so yes..there, is my 2 cents on christmas.

my muscles were aching for the past 2 days. if sophia became a personal trainer she'd be the strict-est one yet. She'll be one of those trainers that after a while you'd just have the urge to sock her in the face if you heard the words "c'mon! you're not pushing yourself hard enough!" one more time, when you're like halfway to death that you might as well buckle your arms and let the bar sit on your neck to finish it off. ok i am exaggerating. she will be a great personal trainer, but i swear for the past 2 days i could not lift anything more than 3 kgs. she made me do squats - SQUATS! like 50 of them?? i'm usually good at squats but after those sets..it hurts to walk :(

but you know what? it was gooood...it felt good to work/run/squat/push/pull it off all the angerrr, frustration, emotional stress i had bottled up inside. and i felt fan-fucking-tastic afterwards that i wanna go back and do it all again. not now though. my arms are still aching. so maybe tomorrow =)

so..where to now? xmas is soon, new years follows a week after then summerdayze 5 days after that, sydney 16 days after that then australia day 4 days after that. the holiday season looks good already =)

oh btw i haven't made this blog "public yet" so far only two people know about this blog. i think i'll just keep it that way for now. till i'm a bit more "normal" haha.

sleep time!