i didn't go to the gym today and i absolutely hate myself for it. it was a pity too because i've been on the roll for like 3-4 weeks in a row and have been feeling absolutely fab - healthwise that is. so i made it a point when i told myself just then that i will not make anymore excuses! with the exception of christmas day, new years and hangovers. though i did once gym during a hangover and boy can i tell you it was not a very productive session. there was also that other time where i hit fitness first after uni, and after downing half a jug of beer at the tav. that experience however, was a pretty good one haha. anyway, point of story being that i will continue my 3 gym sesh/week streak! i've been meaning to push it to 4 or 5 lately because i haven't been getting as tired after each time. i think i need to up the resistance levels too.
so to help motivate and engage me to getting fit and healthy this summer i surfed the web for pictures of some hot hot celeb bodies. no, i'm still swinging right but i just like to admire -_-
let's go through them:
who better to start off with the gorgeous glamorous queens of the runway: the vs girls! one word: smokin'
beyonce is one fiiione piece of meat. i don't like stick skinny girls so some of the girls on VS are a bit too skinny for me. beyonce is the global icon of how a woman's body should be: curvy but toned and bootayLicious!
jessica alba. i'm not even gonna go there. she's the woman of every man's dreams.
i also like toned and fit bodies, especially bodies of girls who do some sort of physical activity for e.g playing sports or dancing. nicky whelan is a model, actress and dancer, best known for her role as pepper in neighbours. just look at them abs! she prolly does ballet or something.
Shin Mina found her 15 minutes of fame as Korea's 'world cup' girl. she's now a singer and dancer. look at the abs.
allison Stokke is an 18-year-old american pole vaulter. healthy, fit and toned. and she looks like she eats.
nicole scherzinger is 30 and hot.
i always remembered jessica biel simply as that girl off 7th Heaven back in the day. chuck and larry proved otherwise.
megan fox: we all envied that brunette bombshell off transformers.
and last but most definately not least: hiedi klum. married to musician, Seal and pictured here after bearing 3 children she is still banging!
now everytime i need like a dose of get-your-ass-to-the-gym-now! i'll take a look at this post =) for the guys, you prolly enjoyed it eh? this post is full of hot smokin' sexy bangin' women half naked for you to um, look at.
peace out!
ok, my friend, his name is matt, is a great blogger. i've linked him on the side of this page somewhere. i think it's on the right>>
so check him out! i mean it, check it out. the blog i mean.. HAHA
im a noob at blogger so if it didn't work then here's link: click
oh and just something that came up i wanna share with u guys. for the past year i have had a growing obsession with hamish blake having developed from listening to the 4-6pm drive home with hamish and andy everyday on the way home from uni. if i had an emoticon for a smiley with love-heart eyes i'd use it now. my friend popped a really hard question just then. he asked me if i had to choose between hamish and brad pitt who would i choose...
hmm that's a toughy. brad's hot. but hamish is oh-so-cute.
i chose hamish. why? 1. coz he's aussie. and 2. beauty diminishes with age. 50 years down the track brad would be like 80, no, 90, his features all mangled and sagging lying in his own death bed. but hamish will still have his kick ;) eh eh or 3. he'd be dead already since he's older than hamish.
storm: hopefully hamish breaks up wit his ghirlfriend, makes his way to perth, breaks down around morley, phone battery runs flat, knocks on ur door to borrow the phone, ur parents arent home, and so on....
yeahh...if i had that emoticon for the smiley with the perverted eyebrow pulsations i'd put it here too.
cheerios!
let me set the scene:
you're sitting there having coffee with a friend and you start talking about say...
...feet. i know random, but let's just say this branch stemmed from a conversation about shoes. so you decide to pull a harmless friendly joke to pull your mate's leg a lil'. you lean over, peek under the table and pretend to smirk remarking: "sheesh...with Sun Ming Ming's* feet, i bet the guy's at foot locker panic everytime you walk in eh?"
then it's like pause...they raise an eyebrow...purse the lips..tuck their feet behind the chair legs...cross their arms..lean back...and:
"atleast they don't go running for oxygen masks everytime you show up..."
chhhyyyeaaahhhh...the conversation goes pretty much downhill from there as you both squeeze your minds to squirt out the tiniest faults and bloopers about each other that you can use as an attack (or defence). the ravenous ping pong game finally ends in a big stupid screaming contest about absolutely nothing as one of you storms off, often leaving the remaining person to foot the bill.
it's this irritating defensive attitude that really bugs me about some people. you just can't engage in a humourous light-hearted diss with them. like shit, man. take a chill pill, can't you take a joke? it's like they think the world's out to get them. sometimes they leave me feeling pretty stupid because they don't laugh. and when they don't laugh i automatically come up with two explanations:
a) the joke was just OTT, uncalled for, offensive, lame and not funny, or
b) it happened that they have something shoved so far up their arse that day that it interferes with the "humour/joke alert" function of their brain and so they mis-register it as declaration of war.
i've been told that people who are defensive are insecure, have big egos, or they just had a reallllly bad childhood. so i had a good bitch to a mate about one of these doomed-to-be-disastrous conversations i've just had. it went something like this:
lyn: yeah, then he brought up the thing about me backing up into a pole. like fuck, that was my first time driving! seriously, he is soooo immature.
storm: tell him to lay off the caffeine and loosen up a bit
storm: then make a joke about his manhood and go offline. he'll think about it all night. trust me ;)
haha. seriously? maybeh ;)
note*: Sung Ming Ming is China's tallest basketball player. or, for those of you who don't follow bball, he's the tall kungfu guy in Rush Hour 3 that kicked Chris Tucker's arse hehe.
What a waste of time, the thought crossed my mind
But I never missed a beat
Can't explain the who or what I was
Trying to believe
What would you do?
What would you do?
Do you know?
I once had a grip on everything
It feels better to let go
I'm not over
I'm not over you just yet
Cannot hide it
You're not that easy to forget
I'm not over
Never took the chance, could've jump the fence
I was scared of my own two feet
Couldn't cross the line, it was black and white
No contrast to be seen
What would you do?
What would you do?
Do you know?
Was it all a joke, never had control
I'm not better on my own
I'm not over
I'm not over you just yet
Cannot hide it
You're not that easy to forget
I'm not over
What a waste of time
The thought crossed my mind
Can't explain this thing, or what I mean
I'm trying to let go
I'm not over
I'm not over you just yet
Cannot hide it
You're not that easy to forget
I'm not over
I'm not over you just yet
Cannot hide it
You're not that easy to forget
I'm not over
I'm not over
I came home early from clubbing today and I realised...
I'm not over it yet.
Christmas is just around the corner (with 12 days to go yay!) so let's sing some christmas carols!
Have yourself a merry little Christmas was one of my favs and I stumbled upon this version by two of my favourite RnB artists, Christina Aguilera and Brian Mcknight.
Merry Christmas!
xx
so it's 2:10am. I don't have much to say but i'm sitting here reading through these random quotes and though i should share some that i thought are quite interesting. I love this site, generation terrorists. Usually when there's crap to be done around the house but I just can't be fucked, I would sit at the computer, crossed legs up on the table, leaning back into my seat and click on the "generate random quote" button. It's great. I would be sitting there for anything up to an hour..click click click...
So here are some that the random button spat out tonight:
"The problem with political jokes is that they always get elected" - Anoymous
"Pacifisim is a privlidge of the affluent and lazy. Explain to a starving man that killing another man to eat is wrong." - Kerry Ridgley
"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jets" - Anonymous
"The deadliest bullshit is odorless and transparent" - William Gibson
"How many legs does a dog have if you call it's tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg" - Abraham Lincoln
"As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing" - Anonymous
"Demagogue: One who preaches a doctrine he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots." - Henry Louis Mencken
Quite degrading, but for the frivolous:
"Compliments cost nothing, and so they are of little value to any except fools and women." - Spandrell
"An optimist is a person who sees a green light everywhere, while the pessimist sees only the red spotlight...The truly wise person is colorblind" - Albert Schweitzer
"Prejudices, it is well known, are most difficult to eradicate from the heart whose soil has never been loosened or fertilised by education; they grow there, firm as weeks among stones." - Charlotte Bronte
"The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greated than that of any other animal" - H.L. Mencken
In the beginning, there was nothing. Then God said, "Let there be light". And there was still nothing but you could see it." - Anonymous
"I would have stepped on you if you weren't a piece of shit" - Carlo
"May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits!" - Arabian insult
"The 'internet' cannot be removed from you desktop, would you like to delete the 'Internet' now?" - MS Windows 95
"The problem with America today is that too many people know too much about not enough" - Anonymous
"To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune, to lose both looks like carelessness." - Oscar Wilde
"If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them" - Anonymous
"Success is not the result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire." - Reggie Leach
"Many a man's tongue has broken his nose" - Anonymous
"Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterwards."
"The following sentence is false.
The preceeding sentence is true."
hahahaha-hardy-ha!
"Promises are like babies: fun to make, but hell to deliver."
LOL
and to finish off, the last one it threw me for the night:
"Men cheat for the same reason that dogs lick their balls - because they can." - Samantha Jones, Sex and the City Episode 87.
good morning!
not exactly 2am but thought i should drop a line to "keep this blog alive".
yesterday was a good day. beaching with the girls was fun and relaxing. me and her are talking again so all is good. and another thing - he left to overseas. i guess it's a good thing since i am no longer waiting around wondering if he's gonna call or message or arguing with my mind whether or not to msg/call him. now that he's gone for a whole month without any access to net or phone i wouldn't be able to contact him even if i wanted to. i guess that's easier to live with.
i finally finished "xmas-ing" the living room. Putting up the xmas tree, decorations, cleaning all helped me relax as well as having acid jazz playing in the background. i am just so bored of people who see xmas as "just another holiday" that's consumer driven, meaningless and overrated. whatever. i could be the most pessimistic, cynical and glum person in the world right now and i'd still make an effort to do something for xmas, even if that just means lighting a few candles and putting up a tree. im not a devout christian or a religious fanatic. i simply like xmas. why? coz people make the effort to come home for xmas. it is the one time of the year where everyone can just get over themselves and their shit and just be happy - or go out of their way to make another person happy. it is the one time in the year when people make exceptions. exceptions. it seriously got to the point where i was like if i didn't have any family and friends at all i'd goddamn celebrate the occasion on my own if i had to. why? coz i strive to...just be happy.
so yes..there, is my 2 cents on christmas.
my muscles were aching for the past 2 days. if sophia became a personal trainer she'd be the strict-est one yet. She'll be one of those trainers that after a while you'd just have the urge to sock her in the face if you heard the words "c'mon! you're not pushing yourself hard enough!" one more time, when you're like halfway to death that you might as well buckle your arms and let the bar sit on your neck to finish it off. ok i am exaggerating. she will be a great personal trainer, but i swear for the past 2 days i could not lift anything more than 3 kgs. she made me do squats - SQUATS! like 50 of them?? i'm usually good at squats but after those sets..it hurts to walk :(
but you know what? it was gooood...it felt good to work/run/squat/push/pull it off all the angerrr, frustration, emotional stress i had bottled up inside. and i felt fan-fucking-tastic afterwards that i wanna go back and do it all again. not now though. my arms are still aching. so maybe tomorrow =)
so..where to now? xmas is soon, new years follows a week after then summerdayze 5 days after that, sydney 16 days after that then australia day 4 days after that. the holiday season looks good already =)
oh btw i haven't made this blog "public yet" so far only two people know about this blog. i think i'll just keep it that way for now. till i'm a bit more "normal" haha.
sleep time!
put it bluntly i feel so alone, unwanted and unneeded right now.
my best friend isn't talking to me.
my other close friends are either busy or too preoccupied with their own lives to concern themselves with mine.
my mum is going insane, singlehandedly managing her shop
and my dad?
well yeah..my dad...
so who can i turn to when i need somebody there?
who can i call at 2 in the morning when im tearing my mind to pieces thinking and replaying all the events that have happened?
who would sit down and listen without giving me the "guy's suck. you'll find a better one", the "just don't think about it, it'll pass", or even worse the "just get over him already"
I tell myself that im coping quite well on my own. that i don't need any comfort or consolation from anyone. that "yeah, im sad. but you gotta down before you up". that if people don't know and if they don't mention it then i can pretend that none of it ever happened. that love is only the 4th component of my life and i still have 3 - no 2 - components to count on. that time will heal everything and i just gotta stay put and wait it out. that getting a real job to busy myself while waiting it out would solve the problem. that un addition to getting a job, maybe going off and doing some charity work, perhaps sponsoring a child, would open my eyes to the bigger badder life threatening problems that so people in 3rd World - sorry i mean developing countries - have to deal with. that in these countries starvation and survival are the biggest concern on these people's minds and love problems are laughed at, should it even be considered on the list.
and then i ask myself should the question be one of "who"??
must i depend on another for my own mental and emotional wellbeing? should i allow my pride and independence bend to such limits?
afterall. if it's one thing i've learn't from this break up: it's that people are so cruel and ultimately everyone is selfish and only do things for their own benefit.
- unless they're Jesus - or God. But then again God got a virgin pregnant with magic so clearly, God is not playing by the rules.
So should i submit myself to people - the origin and cause of many of my migraines and toothaches....?
Wow. It's true. and it eeks my ears to admit it aloud. people get so screwed over by other people all the time it isn't even funny anymore. cheating wives, unfaithful husbands, backstabbing friends, abusive parents, dickhead bosses, greedy billionaires, unprofessional doctors, unhygenic chefs, dishonest missionaries...I could go on about how people fu.ck other people over for hoursssss, but i think i'd just be rambling. I have such big trust issues lately.
so i rant...cry...rant...blow my nose...rant..dry angry tears...rant rant some more...rant...until i finally fall asleep on a damp pillow. i hope my eyes aren't puffy tomorrow -_-
There have been things on my mind during these past hardly bearable weeks. But the one issue, the one person that I haven't been able to stop thinking about is him. It has only been 2 weeks, 4 days . since "we" . ended so there's a long way to go for me to be able to walk away from it all. Be it a break -up or a break. He's gone and he ain't coming back.
I miss him. A LOT.
. And even though love is such a pain in the ass and relationships are just the start of that, I still found myself falling deeper and deeper into a relationship that I knew was doomed from the beginning. Even the smartest of people get screwed over. I'm an intelligent girl, I just picked a not-so-smart choice. to put it nicely.
Break-ups are inevitable. I know that. Everyone who's been in a relationship knows so. But I'm still sitting here wondering where the hell we went wrong and how the heck did it happen?? This impending question has been carved on the back of my mind ever since that moment he decided to leave me. And I'm still wondering why why why?? Telling myself this isn't supposed to be the way it ends... not like this.
I found myself lying in bed every night, going through messages after messages on my phone from him, deconstructing every single sentence, searching for hints or clues between the lines of his i love you's and i miss you's.
His sincere "love" peaked and dangerously dropped within a matter of weeks coming to a fatal crash where it hit the axis - head first. I always wonder if this 'love' of his was as true as he claimed it to be?
No. I felt it dying. I really did. After the first few times where he didn't pick up my phonecalls for days or return my messages and giving me crap excuses as to why. I knew, but I wouldn't let myself comprehend. I guess I was still hanging on to the him i knew before. The him I believed would never leave me like this. The him I thought would try to keep our relationship together through thick and thin.
He didn't even try.
Not one. single. effing. bit.
It's this nonchalent attitude that he adopts to every fu.cking thing. and it gets me thinking and angry and all irritated again. On several occasions I tried to express my doubts about our relationship but his blithe unconcern and egomaniac-ish crap kicks in every time, giving me a "Well...If that's what you think I can't really do anything about it. I can't change your mind."
um. Seriously?
Oh you left your phone - both phones - in your car for two days straight and it was too hot to walk 10 metres to fetch them?
...Seriously??
So you left your phone in your friends bag over the weekend and after getting it back and seeing 20+ missed calls and a message from me you didn't bother to call back just incase it was something urgent? And what? This was because you were tired?
Seriously??
Oh, so you're working an extra day this week and now your timetable for the week just happens to be the complete opposite to mine?
....
I tried. God knows I tried. So damn hard to keep it together.
It got to the point where I wanted to grab him by both shoulders and shake him. violently.
And scream and scream at him. And push him to that breaing point where he could no longer hold back his urge to scream just as violently back at me. Just so that he would
FEEL something.
A bit of concern maybe? The slightest taste of guilt perhaps?
Not at all. If any, non that he expressed.
I guess that was what I got for wishful thinking.
So where do we stand now?
Only God knows.
I never thought I would be one to blog -again. My previous one failed miserably because I was always so lazy to update it and I guess I didn't have much to say back then.
Nevertheless I'm back again and hopefully I can keep this one up and filled with words, thoughts, and emotional ventilation.
Soooo the reason for my urge to blog?
No reason. I just thought I should start articulating my thoughts again. Since year 12 I swear I've gotten dumber. "Gotten"? Is that even a word?? <- You see what I mean? I need to exercise my english again. I asked a friend what he thought of blogging while contemplating whether or not I should start putting my life to print again. It went something like this:
Mc`Lyn: was it fun?
mr. spontaneous.: hmmmmmmmmm
mr. spontaneous.: i reckon its kinda stupid
Mc`Lyn: why?
mr. spontaneous.: hahaha
mr. spontaneous.: well
mr. spontaneous.: if ur just gonna rant...
mr. spontaneous.: dont make one
mr. spontaneous.: if u can make it artistic....
mr. spontaneous.: go ahead
mr. spontaneous.: i used to like blogs
mr. spontaneous.: but then i figured..
mr. spontaneous.: its a bit weird if someone reads about ur life
Mc`Lyn: what do u mean by artistic?
mr. spontaneous.: like....
mr. spontaneous.: u have to make it interesting
mr. spontaneous.: i found it boring after a while
Mc`Lyn: lol Mc`Lyn: alright
Mc`Lyn: well ill start one anyway
Mc`Lyn: and if it gets boring ill just let it die
mr. spontaneous.: alright
mr. spontaneous.: my input had NO affect at all
On the contrary, my new friend Simon disagrees with Matt, disagreeing that my life would be too boring to broadcast through a blog. I quote our msn convo:
REGRETFULsimmybear: i think ure pretty interesting
REGRETFULsimmybear: and if u blog the way u talk
REGRETFULsimmybear: im sure ur blog will be heaps good
Thank you, Simon. Matt, a blog isn't about entertainment for other people - accurately and effectively conveying your emotions while articulating it in a way that would provide entertainment/enojoyment/amusement for other is just too hard. I don't think blogs are supposed to serve that purpose? But then again it comes down to the individual and what they want their blog to be. Some people blog about their life, some about their hobbies, their uni/school life, people have poetry blogs, beauty/fashion blogs, music blogs. So I'll blog blog blog about my rantings all day all night to my heart's content if I want =].
-> Next Question
so why is my blog called 2am?
2am is usually the hour I'm most productive. You can find me cleaning my room, practising piano, planning for the next day etc etc. While all the normal people in this country is fast asleep, even if I am lying in bed my mind is working its hardest, generating an abundance amount of random thoughts to do with my day, my future, my life, my friends, my family, my apetite, him and other thoughts alike. hence the blog name: 2am.
Ok... so now that those are out of the way where should I start?
hrmm... How about how my day went? Technically I didn't have a "day". Last night after coming home from Sophia's bbq with a swollen foot and scratched polished toenails I cleaned my room for our expectant guests who were coming in from melbourne. So yes, I don't have my room for this whole week :( boo. but in the name of good hosts and reputable hospitality I sucked it in like a man and gave up my bed like a generous samaritan (go me!). Anyway my "day" consisted of sleeping at 1am and waking up at 4pm. Boo yeah! Yess I am good in bed ;) Then I had piano concert rehearsal at 6pm, picked my cousin up from my mum's bakery/lunchbar, came home and dinnered, then dl music, chat, spent an hour deciding whether to blog or not and here I am posting my first few words of wisdom =)
Soooo....Let's look at what has been happening lately:
I believe my life is made up of 4 big components at the moment: uni/career, family, friends and love.
Let's start off with the one that gets everyone screwed over:
love. Around 3 weeks ago I had a boyfriend and now I don't. And a big part of the reason as to why I've been in such a rotten mood these past few weeks is because of him. :( But more about him another day. I have a feeling I'll be ranting on about him and the reasons as to why love is such a pain in the ass a lot.
uni. well..uni's OVER! MUHhauhauhau =D About 3 months ago I reconsidered my law/commerce degree at murdoch and came to the realisation that law just ain't for me. I'm actually pretty good arguing but I think what I lacked was the passion to argue - especially mooting on crap like damages and torts. Put it frankly: I'd rather watch grass grow -_-.
I started to find arguments such a waste of time and effort. I didn't fit in with other law students. Everyone was so passionate and just.. into it. And I definately am not =/ Nevertheless I enjoyed Crim and torts and ALS and reading&writing. I shall miss referring to the "reasonable prudent man" haha!
So where am I heading now? Being in the indecisive phase I am in now, I opted for a transfer to UWA going into a single commerce degree. Reason? It's the most versatile degree and one of the only degrees I'm willing to pursue that would also keep my parents seated comfortably watching Paris By Night while bragging on about their daughter's achievements to other parents alike.
So commerce from here and we'll see where I venture off to later, shall we? teheeehehee.
family. My immediate family consists of me, my mum and my dad. we haven't always been perfect, then again no family is. But I like to think that we atleast try to get along and when the world walks out on me I can always depend on my them to be there for me. As they say blood is always thicker.
It's the first day of the Christmas season so this is a good time for us. Although maybe on a daily basis we don't always get alot, my family's one of those ones that always makes the exception for Christmas. Ahh..that's what I love about Christmas. Those who know me know that I love this time of the year =)
friends. thing's haven't really been going well in this department either. About a week ago I had an argument with one of my closest friends. It was over something stupid but I'm really starting to regret it. I admit that Saturday night I shouldn’t have gone off at her. But the fault wasn’t entirely mine and she had a big role to play in the whole ordeal too. It was after exams, after the realisation of being dumped kicked in and during a time that I needed her most. Funny, because she’s the one who’s taking her sweet time to get over it. I wish she would just get over it already and stop wasting both our time over meaningless grudges -_- talking about it just makes me angry so more about that another day.
So when two out of four things are going wrong I shall move on, fix what I can and focus my life on things within my control for the time being. Heh! Easier said than done -_-
My net disconnected for 3 hours before I got to post this and now it's like 1:15am and I can feel angry thoughts brewing in my mind again. Time to get some fresh air. The moon looks like a smiley face tonight with the two stars as my friend says so I'll go check that out. I wouldn't be surprised if I'm back here again in a few hours to rant rant rant.
Aww. and the person I told could be the first reader of my blog is now off to sleep. Too bad.
gnites!